However, I decided that rather then focus on this gaping hole of fear inside me I would shift towards the external environment, so I set off across the ranch with my pack full of notebook, camera, video-camera and tripod. What would I see? What could I find to think about in a positive way?
Suddenly out of nowhere the sky opened up and I was caught in a rainstorm with no protection. What luck! I ran through the tall grass and ducked under a shelter for gigantic round hay bales.